Philly Dame

My favorite author as a kid growing up in South Jersey was Gordon Korman, so when I heard he was speaking in Philadelphia, at the National Council of English Teacher’s annual convention, I knew I had to go.

There were only two problems: I’m not an English teacher and I hadn’t exactly registered for this convention.

Sneaking in was not a possibility. Security guards in grey jackets patrol the convention centers halls, specifically to prevent Philadelphians from waltzing in and listening to their favorite authors speak. Actually, I tried sneaking in — and was asked for my convention badge within minutes. Foiled. Drat.

So I went up to the registration tent. “Is there a way that I can go to see Gordon Korman?” I asked. “I read all of his books when I was little and would really just get a kick out of seeing him speak. I’m happy to pay if you’d like.”

The woman nodded and waved her hand at the mention of money. “Yup,” she said. “You’re welcome to go see him.” She printed out a badge that said Melody Kramer Philadelphia PA HERE TO LISTEN TO GORDON KORMAN ONLY, which I put around my neck.

Off to the fourth floor, for the middle school teacher’s luncheon, where Korman was the keynote. We tittered about students who use adverbs incorrectly and joked about 8th graders’ behaviorial tics — and then Gordon Korman came out on the stage, to give his speech.

He started out by noting that most books considered classics for middle schoolers center around the death of a dog. (And they do — Old Yeller, Jack London, Fluke, etc) This got a chuckle. He then explained how his books were different in that they were just humorous and a good read — and not so much “message” books. He detailed some of his new books hitting the market and recommended some writing strategies for middle school aged people.

After his talk, I went down to the off-limits exhibit room. (Because of the name tag reading HERE TO LISTEN TO GORDON KORMAN ONLY.) Nevertheless, I stood in a line with other Korman fans (some of whom brought original copies of the MacDonald Hall series) to purchase his newest books and get them autographed. He signed three books for me and I left the exhibit room immediately after. Basically, I didn’t want to get arrested for sneaking into a room with thousands of English teachers — though that actually seems like an excellent plot for a future Gordon Korman novel.

While researching this post, I also accidentally discovered that there is an entire online community dedicated to Bruno and Boots fan fiction. Sometimes I wish when I hit “delete cache” that certain bits of knowledge or memories in my brain could also be destroyed. This is one of those times. Enjoy?